Time to Jump....

I don't mean literally, I don't think I would even have the guts to jump but I mean mentally and what not. Tommorrow (tues 29th) I am getting my TRIPLE hickman line inserted. For those who don't know what a hickman does or were it is placed... Well I shall enlighten you all! (I sense smiles all round)

Hickman line is just another line to help give fluids and treatment but it is placed just above your chest and it goes into the main vein into your heart. It is different from the PICC line because its thicker and easier to clean (among other benefits) sooo I'm getting that done tomorrow, hence my "time to jump" title.

Other than that I have been uberrrr busy with university work, so that is why I haven't been on my wee blog in a while. I did a marketing presentation on Red Bull on visual communication, and I will post a photo of what my group's poster looked like (was taken on someone's phone) but I think we did well, positive thinking and all that.

Par from that I would looooveee a cold glass of WKD and some pub bant... ahh the luxury of having free time. I also miss my wee friend LJP who is away sunning herself in Spain. Why is it when folks go away you suddenly miss them more than normal BUT when they are in the same country as you, you sort of go "awk I'll ring them tommorrow for a chat" COME HOME LJP

Night y'all..... Wish me luck?

New Make Up and Old Shit

I haven't got much to tell you lot today, but I did go into town to try on my friend's bridesmaid dresses because her wedding is in June and she wanted to have the dresses finalised.

As i said before, I got my nails done on Friday (got gel nails) and I love them. But in town today I got Clairns Everlasting Foundation. I wanted a new foundation because Estee Lauder foundation that I normally use has become cloggy and thick along with being darker than my actual skin tone. Soooo I decided to change the brand of my foundation. I also purchased Instant Smooth Perfect Touch, which is Clarins primer (helps give a more flawless finish)

Lastly I decided to nip into La Senza because I seen they were having a 1/2 sale. I got a wee 1940s playsuit pj's along with a "pick and mix" 5 pair of knickers for £12. I love that idea because you got a wee old fashioned pick and mix bag with a black bow on it.

I'm just getting ready to head up to my boyfriend's house. OH! before I go, I changed my settings because unfortunately someone who I am not fond of decided to go on my blog. I know my blog was public but I didn't want the person in question to being going on and reading my boring posts, so I took my blog of the search engine and just kept it open to people who know the URL. Hopefully the person didnt go one step further and take a note of the URL. Maturity is a word that they are not sure of.

Byeeeeee

My St Paddy's Day

I know it's only six o'clock but I thought I would post all about my Granda's pigeons who have just had squabs (baby pigeons) and I have decided to upload the photos of them. There is two sets along with another one squab hatched, but there is more eggs still on their way to being pecked (I think another three are still to come)

Not many people know about pigeons or just see them as the germy bird on the street, but pigeons that are kept for racing (hobby only not cruel) are very timid and tame. They get used to their owner (my granda) and are happy enough to let him peek in and see the progress of their new baby.

I think I might call this one (beside the text) Paddy because it had only just hatched. They have to be fed by their parents for up to six weeks, which is different from a duck or a turkey baby because they can get up and feed themselves within an hour of hatching. I think the sqabs are rather cute, even if they are only just born.

Miracles even in a back garden of someone's home.

Baking and Annoyance

I hate when people give their opinion on a subject matter when all it does it anger me to a point where I get annoyed. I won't tell you what the subject was about, but I don't see why so many people who are close to me, give me their opinion on the subject matter when is has NOTHING to do with them.

I might seem rude saying that but it's the truth. I don't go saying to them about any of their subject matters so why should they give their opinion, which I did NOT ask for in the first place.

"You’ve got opinions, man
We’re all entitled to ‘em, but I never asked
So let me thank you for your time, and try not to waste anymore of mine"

Think Sara Bareilles has the right idea about this song. I didn't ask for their opinions yet they give me them without any thought but I am never able to give my opinions, because I know it would only annoy them. Fair? I don't think so.

In other news I went to a lovely birthday party last night and brought my home made chicken and mushroom with thyme vol au vents. I also made a banoffee pie, which people hopefully enjoyed. I don't have any photo's at the minute but hopefully someone will upload them on to facebook (from the party photos) and I will be able to show you lot my wee vol au vents. 

Today I'm going to see my friend, LL (just going to put initials for friends, incase they don't want to be publicly on a blog that can be found via google) and I can't wait because I haven't seen her in a while. Should be nice. Then after that I'm visiting my boyfriend for a cuddle and a bit of television before heading home because on friday im getting my nails done. I'm so happy right now, knowing that I don't need to go into hospital. I think people take their average day to day life for granted. So maybe if you read this, just think how lucky anyone is who doesn't have any problems both health or social (ie falling out with mates) and maybe that will put a smile on your face, if you're feeling down.

Also Happy St. Patrick's Day to everyone, I'm having a quiet one but I think everyone else my age will be already drunk *looks at time* yep partying on down in the Holylands I think by this stage with their green hats and WKD's.... I wouldn't mind a cold blue wkd, but I can wait.

Well off im going to make a omlette.... x

Wag The Tail

I already posted about my first animal, the small but cute Oreo, but I want to introduce my doggy woggy to my blog. His name is Charlie, but i call him Charcoast (say it how you see it) The photo is of him during the freak snow that we actually never get in December. He doesn't seem to mind that the snow on top of his head was once a snowball. He is a springer spaniel, but we are not sure of the total breed because he is FARRRR too huge to be a full springer spaniel. Charlie is six and a half years old and we got him from the local dog pound for a bargin price of £15 (ten of this was for a dog license tag)

Charlie has his own seat in the kitchen and loves to stand and watch me or another family member cook dinner (I think he partly begs but makes it look like he just being nosey)

He has a habit of not listening to you when he is out for his daily run and this photo represent the trouble he gets up to when he runs away.... the dog can smell dirt I think because he spends the majority of his time after a walk having to do a spring clean on himself. Lol.

Charlie loves the finer things in life and somehow loathes bananas and other types of fruit. Well I have to go now because I need to go and make chicken, mushroom and thyme vol au vents.... NEVER made them before... eek!

My Hammy Wammy

 I have yet to introduce my hamster, Oreo of a year and a half is my lovely black and white syrain long haired hamster. I know this may sound biased but she is the cutest thing ever.

Most people think that she looks "rat like" or else "ugly" but I suppose since I am her mother in some respects, I adore her. She lives in the spare room in my house, due to her heavy excerise regime. I like to think she secretly puts on a sweat band and times how long it takes her to do six miles (apparently a hamster can run up to three miles a night in their wheel)

She is the first hamster that I have had who is a female, all my other teddy bear hamster or syrain long haired hamsters have been males. This time she was a tiny wee baby when I got her and she loves being handled.

In the photo beside is her eating her food, or really just stuffing her pouches. She is not a normal hamster in the sense that she doesn't like treats. Her cage just consists of her bed (the white bedding in the back, altho she had a tidy that night and it was all over the cage) and her wee blue wheel. I tend to only give her the purple feeding bowl when she gets her food and then i remove it to give her more space after she has taken all the food out of the bowl.

She is just one of my animals and I shall also post about my dog. I couldn't live without my animals, or a animal in my life because they make you happy even if you only have fifteen mins to spare or with my dog some play time every evening. Animals are a huge part of my life because I love them so much, especially cows (don't ask, I don't know why)

Damage Galore

I wanted to post about Japan and the destruction of not only the earthquake but also the tsunami that appeared after the 9.0 magitude earthquake. Nearly 500,000 people are without a home and I just think that is so awful, I would not like it to happen to me so this post is for all those people who are waiting to hear from their loved ones or waiting to get their loved ones back from the isolation centres for radiation exposure. It is just scary how awful it is, especially the footage of the incoming tsunami. Nature can be so cruel at times.

Islands surrounding Japan have also been attacked by the tsunami, which many people will have not thought about. One of these island is called Midway Atoll, which is a nature reverse that is home to one of the oldest living birds (at a staggering 60 years old) I was shocked to discover newly hatched birds were buried in the sand and had to wait for wildlife experts to help them out of the sand, all because of the sheer force of the wave and earthquake.

The photo on the left hand side is birds that have been injured that are perched on top of debris from the tsunami, whilst the photo on the right is a startling photograph of a chick and its mother, who was not so lucky in surviving.

It really makes you think the damage that one weather event can place upon not just humans, who everyone automically thinks about BUT also wildlife that depends on us for rescue in these situations.

Bit depressing but luckly most of the chicks survived and wildlife experts were there to help injured birds.

Barbie in Town

My friend Clarebear, as I like to call her has got herself a blog and it is to promote being postive and finding things in your everyday life. It reminds me of a book I just finished reading where a girl decided everyday to complete a AOF (Act of Kindness) and that helped her restore her faith in human (she had been attacked) but Clare adores Barbie, hence the photo and title of the post and I thought it was about time someone dedicated a little loving to her....

At times I know she gets fed up or down (whatever people want to call it) but I also think that Clare is similar to me in some ways. She gets excited over silly things and can get really hyper without any reason (a bit like me) but when me and her are together I think that we get what each other mean even without really going into detail.

I just hope she knows I'm here even when I do go into my "no contact" phase during treatment. It's not because I don't love yah Clarebear, it's because I can't bear to hear people going on with their lives whilst I'm stuck in hospital. Jealously I suppose in a way.

Hope this cheered you up. And check out her blog! Maybe it might make you happy!

"They made a statue of us and put it on the mountain top"

Well I'm back from Dublin. I decided to leave my phone at home and I actually had a lovely day... yes I had a lovely day at the hospital. Something I didn't think I would say anytime soon. Thinking about it, it was because I knew they wouldn't be giving me chemo or poking at me too much.

The Dr who I called a bitch, was actually NICE. So I have decided that I need to go back to being positive about things and maybe not show that I'm always scared of what is coming. Because really when you do stop to think about it, someone out there has said "yes I will come to Dublin and give this girl my stem cells so she can live" PRETTY AMAZING. I wish I knew the person's name or something. Just so I could send them a letter thanking them, because I think it will be the best thing in my life that someone is going to give to me. I don't think a box of chocolate can really beat giving someone a new immune system.

The whole process is me getting a downgraded chemo (not a full blitz of chemo) and then that leaves half my own cells and this new person's cell come in. Now the problems can start. For a start my orginal cells cud teach the new cells bad habits, like a badly behaved child but hopefully they will die out and the donor cells will merge in my bone marrow and become mine. Or it could go all tits up and I could get graft vs host disease and my organs could fail..... HAHA sorry I had to laugh.

Fun fact of the day: Did you know that everyone... YES EVERYONE'S body kills cancer cells up to three times a day EVERYDAY..... FACT! Our bodies are reallyyyyy amazing.

When you do look round life is pretty amazing.....

The Journey to Dublin

Today is the journey down for a outpatients appointment in Dublin. The whole day is pretty long but its normally at least a bit funny on the way down. The doctor herself is one class A bitch but then most of those people are. The picture is the hospital, although it pretty massive (the picture doesn't do it justice)

On other news I am making a scrummy looking banoffee pie in advance for a birthday party on Wednesday. I say scrummy looking because even though I make it from scratch, I don't actually like banoffee so I have to trust the judgement of my boyfriend and my mum (both banoffee lovers)

Well that's you updated for now. I will come back on later on tonight to blog some more.... hopefully it won't be too depressing because as I said before the doctor looking after me in Dublin is a right old bitch.

Toodlesss

Nouveau Look

Well I have updated the look of my blog and thought I would post again just to show you a strange collection of pillows. From a pair of boobs to a lap pillow, to a blood pillow and to a blanket that is made up of pillows. I tried to put four photos of them up but they kept disappearing in the post. So here is just one.... It made me giggle. Maturity Jane!

Good night

Gleedom

Now this might seem cheesy to some people but I'm really into glee music this season. I don't know why, but some of them are sooo catchy and then you seem a bit happier at the end of it. I must admit I am a tv addict in a strange sense, I only watch tv via my computer i.e. on catch up.

Do you do this? Am a loner on this one?

I love Gossip Girl, Glee, One Born A Minute, Shamless, Secret Diary of A Call Girl, Eastenders, 90210, My Big C, Friday Night Dinner.... I won't continue lol.

I am also a huge fan of ebay now. I just got a ebay account and I was scared of it at the start but now I'm loving it. The bargins you can find in it!!!

I won a bidding contest...between myself for a diary that usually costs £10 but i got it for 99p. Yes yes! i hear you say, "Jane that is normal for ebay" but I'm NEW to it, therefore you should all be pleased for me. Whoever even reads this.

I have posted about three posts tonight so hopefully I will start to once again get this blog back on track because I do love it. It's my secret world, yet it isn't because it's easy for you to find it.... like a note left in a pile of letters?

"I'm not lost, I'm not gone"

You know when you're in the mood for that one hug that makes everything alright? That's me tonight, but maybe I should invest in one of these pillows... Hug me much?

I have had a terrible day and I need a wee hug. I think that pillow would also work as a hug where you place your head on the person's chest (normally a guy mate or your boyfriend) Although the chose of clothing would need to be changed to a softer vest or something.

I want to get back to blogging and talking about things that interest me or updates on me living through my 20's now. GOD I feel old.

I'm also dieting and I have lost 4lbs, only taken me a month but I'm really happy about it. Makes me feel better about myself.

I got a ipod touch recently so I'm back to listening to music and I love this new artist called Regina Spektor... her music is sooo nice and the lyrics are amazing.

The title of this blog is from a Avril song but some of the songs I have recently listened to on her album really seem to connect with my current health situation and it makes me do that whole singing into the hair brush...

Now where did I leave my half bodied pillow?

Mise A Jour....

Update time. Over nearly a year has passed. I now go to university for marketing and I was doing well with the whole big C but unfortuately I have it again. Woopie for me! It just loves me too much.

Anyway I have had another six months or something of chemo. ESHAP this time. She is one bitch, five days every month or twice a month depending on how the dates fell for that. Meant hospital and me being attached to a drip. I sometimes think the most difficult part of the whole cancer experience (if you could call it that) is people not understanding.

The very first time I had the big C, it was like interesting and funny to a certain extent but the more times i seem to have to face treatments and things that are very painful, for example spinal taps.... the further away "normal" people seem to get and the more isolated I feel.

God... morbid much? On another note I'm trying to choo choooo along like a wee train. And so far I'm doing alright.

I just bought a journal for Dublin, because I'm going down there for a stem cell transplant donor style this time. ENOUGH OF THE BIG C I hear my brain scream.

On another note I got Avrils new album and its FABBBBBB. Really recommend it :) and i prefer it over Jessie J's ablum.

Ohhh and i got a wee car, call her Flow (black ford fiesta) loveee her. Still dating the Thomas boyyyy (two and half years)