Celebrations and Cheer

Have a happy new year!!!

31 days in December,  I can't believe that it has flown in. We wait all year for the one day that we can lavish presents on our most loved people that we share our lives with. I couldn't believe the gifts I got, I was so happy. I couldn't believe that my boyfriend, best friends and family actually got me presents that depicted my visual image. Feminine, vintage, womanly. All the gifts just shouted "me" to me. I thought for ages that no one really paid attention to my style or maybe what I like and dislike, but I felt terrible when present after present people seemed to give me gifts that I would have chosen for myself.

But the question is you wait all year for this one day... of present giving and food sharing BUT if you had the chance... would you say yes to everyday being Christmas? I have to say no, then it would become just like any other day. No Christmas Glitz and Glam, no angel hair on the tree. No stuffed food with lashings of luxury items. No once a year, sigh of relief when you climb into bed, either drunk or exhausted from washing all the pots and pans and say "thats it...over for another year"

Needless to say I do enjoy Christmas but I suppose everyone eventually thinks "thank goodness that month where we decided to put a living tree in our family room, which we then decorated is over".... but yet the madness doesn't end!

Boxing Day sales? Cramped shopping conditions as a frenzy of manic shoppers search for that last "size 6" coat. You could almost scream and no one would hear you through the drone of the tills clicking and the exchange of money. Along with the question of "well... your new years resolution?" Or personally for me "well Jane its only 27 days until you are 21!" I can't believe that I am turning 21, but indeed that post/topic is for another day altogether!

For NYE I am going to a charity event for Marie Curie Hospice, which is a brillant cause. This led me to re-think my silly "i shall stop fishing" NY Resolutions and I have decided to draw up at least three small things that I hope to aim/achieve in 2012.

a) continue my uni work to a high standard
b) start in the tourism board placement
c) Be less of a push over

But I want to remain positive along with grateful that I have once again got better and indeed I am decreasing my cyclosporin so now im taking 75mg both morning and night. I just can't believe what a difference over half a year makes to anyones life, I can't believe it was 8 months or just over, that I was getting my transplant. I might also enquiry how i can write a letter to the donor.

Toodles for now! Happy New Year to you all! Hope 2012 is either better for you (if you didn't have a great 2011) or continues to be good (if you had a good 2011)......

My Festive Story...

"HoHo"

Recently I have started to draw designs on my nails, and this has been the first day I have remembered to actual bluetooth my photos (from my mobile) onto my lappy wappy. Anyway the red nail design was my second attempt (the hand pictured is my left hand) I wanted to do small snowflakes for the entire hand but it took too long. In the end the left hand had "HoHo" and on the right hand I put "Xmas" with another snowflake on the thumb.

Reindeer?

I did like this design but then it takes a long time (three coats with red) then glitter and painting. My designs usually last about two weeks and people do seem to like them. Below are photos of my other nail designs.

I also took photo's of my Charlie before uploading the photos of my nail on blogger. I know I always upload photos of him, but I can't resist his face and I want to (even though this sounds highly morbid) collect photos of him so I can look back on them if anything happens to him. Depressing I know!


 I can't believe that Santa is leaving his home in 10 hours. It seems unreal. Meanwhile I lie in bed and watch tv programmes on Christmas food. I will probably write another blog post to make up for not coming on Christmas Day.

Have a lovely Christmas Eve Eve....x





Ps I learnt my nail designs from youtube and want to give a shoutout to "cutepolish" on youtube!!! so simple!!!!

Scattering, Basting, Glazing your Christmas

I am an avid fan of all things food. I wouldn't be the type of person who makes delicious food that turns people speechless as their taste buds start to do a dance of joy, but I do love watching recipes whilst I drool not only in envy but also in hunger. Food programmes never fail to make me hungry.

In the run up to Christmas people started to get more and more frantic. When I panic, I cook. Simple you say? "When will I find the time to get my gifts for people?" Well that is where Lorriane (link below) comes in. She not only shows you lovely food, that can make anyone drool but also small cheap gifts that are adorable to give to any friend. Home made gifts Jane? Well its a recession and also what happened to Christmas meaning family and not presents?

Iplayer- Lorraines_Last_Minute_Christmas

If Lorriane isn't your cup of tea, I am also going to recommend Hairy Biker's. You can't go wrong with two jolly guys who talk so passionately about British food and the real experience of cooking.

Iplayer- The_Hairy_Bikers_Twelve_Days_of_Christmas

And if that still doesn't grab you with mouth watering food then Nigella is the final card I give to you. Yes it might have been orginally aired in 2008 but who doesn't love a bit of  Nigella in the kitchen? She might make wives jealous and husbands gaze at the television in sheer awe, whilst Nigella makes food into some sort of mouth watering pleasure experience with her tone of voice and how she describes ingredients.

Iplayer- Nigellas_Christmas_Kitchen_Series_2_Short_and_Sweet

If you are looking for luxury this Christmas then desserts are a must. I haven't made up my mind about what dessert I want to try making this year, as its the first year I am either not ill or bald... a christmas hat doesn't look as nice on a bald head of a female. Anyway I can't wait for Christmas. As i write this its the 23rd December. I can't believe this time last year I was in hospital trying to contain my sickness whilst i was attached 24hrs a day to a drip. Actually this time tomorrow I will ONLY just be leaving the hospital, where (this is 100% true!) the snow slowly began to fall.

Looking back on that night (if i didnt want to vomit with every step I took) I would have thought someone was trying to make me smile.

Till next time (maybe I will have my dessert done and photos of the dessert.... Im hoping to do Ferroche Rocher cheesecake.... mmhhh)

Eat, drink and be merry?

Christmas is now FIVE days away. I went to the hospital today and everything was fine. They want me to decrease my morning dose of anti rejection tablet from 100mg to 75mg (just like my night meds atm)... Im not happy about that but I'm trying to not let it get to me. I don't think they understand that I have only just re-worked my skin pattern to get used to the whole 25mg of lower anti rejection which alone has let the donor cells attack me more and on top of that they are trying to decrease my steroids too fast. They never really let me have any peace with my skin, I never knew you could hate skin this much when its being troublesome, like a spoilt child huffing at the present they wanted but didn't get.

I'm trying to see the positives today but in general I'm tired and the hospital annoyed me. Although on wards and upwards I was in hospital this time last year having chemo over Christmas so I'm going to see the good side and be happy!

Speaking of happiness I got a email to say that the tourism centre loved my newsletter that I re-worded (to help them out) so I can't wait to see my actual words published in a newsletter that NI tourists will read for the duration of Winter 2011. I am really looking forward to doing more work to add to my CV as I think it will not only give me more self confidence but also gain a better understanding whether I want to go into that type of marketing when I graduate.

Share the happiness?

I love watching Christmas food programmes on the run up to christmas and have found a new food love of ... carrot and swede mash. Delish and whats better than Marks And Spencers Count On Us carrot and swede which is not only tasty but low fat and low calorie. Perfect!!! I can't stop eating at the moment, so I hope by the time Christmas Day comes I will eat less as I really don't want to be putting on the weight I have been working hard to keep off.

I know what I will be drinking LARGE amounts of... Diet Coke. Ice cold.... like carmel gold

Till next time (maybe I will not be as bad with my skin? Fingers crossed for me?)

Jane

Small Steps... look back at how far you have come

Woh if I was to look back from a year ago I can't believe I have come this far. Being ill really tests your sanity that is for sure. But since its Christmas I will be going to the clinic tommorrow so I will write more medically tommorrow (update you on my happenings)

Ohh looky here! theres my charlie mcfarly! this was me and him last year! hes is sooo prettyyy! just looking at his face makes me smile.

 I have sat looking at this blog post for over two hours and I am afraid I have no creative tonight. So I will leave you with photos of my and my charlie dog. I will post about my hospital tommorrow at some point. Alas I may just lead a boring life and have nothing new to report on.

Toodles for now.

I'll huff and puff...and blow your house down?

Whether the weather (tongue twister) is just having a little chuckle or has had a horrible week, she is NOT happy. I think she plans to huff and puff all night along with bring her little friend snow along with her. Or so met office tells me. Although I am 100% sure that the weather is being mean because she is playing tricks with my lamp, radio and laptop charger, whilst she tumbles through every alley way leaving behind a angry air of calm.

This weather calls for hot water bottles, warm fires, and plenty of layers. Now you ask me, "Jane what did you do today?" ... Well bloggy, I did some santa work, applied for a few placements, got my consumer behaviour mark and had dinner with my sister.

Now im looking up 2 in 1 hoods and scarfs because this weather is INSANE! my mirror jus rattled (due to the wind speed) eeep!boohoo.teddy-bear-hooded-scarf what do you think? I can decide on what colour best suits me.

Also this blog is going to be very short as my hands are numb from the cold (my bed is situated under my window).... alas the wind has won. I hope the snow doesnt come too soon (met office info again)

Well not long till crimbo, but I haven't seen much festive spirit or love from other people. Seems the world is still a bit too self loved up with everyone only wanting the best for themselves. Makes me hope I never become that.

night.....(sorry for short end: my fingers are actually painful from cold)

Are you having a holly jolly Christmas?

Diet Coke Santa?

To most people (who celebrate Christmas) it would be 12 days until Santa appears during the night and sets out bucket loads of cash without any bags of coal. Wishful thinking? Maybe...but then if you never ask, you never get.

Of course I am only joking, since I have become older over the years, I find the actual lead up to Christmas more exciting than actual Christmas Day. Christmas Day feels like it needs to be all family orientated, cheering along with music, and plates piled high with fluffy potatoes and juicy turkey. Instead I see it as awkard moments of opening up presents whilst the present giver looks on anticapting your every expression on your face.

No one can say that they havent got a "smile" which they use when they open a present and think "what made this person think i even wanted a deer skin hat?". A extreme example, but then I have learnt over the years, if you don't HINT HINT HINT during the lead up to Christmas, then people won't really catch on about what you want/need to make your visual apperance or happiness level increase.

I do however bask in the atmosphere of christmas, the crackling fire whilst the aroma of yankee candle Christmas Eve fills the room with warmth. We must not forget the twinkling lights of every christmas tree you can see in your neighabourhood and the crystal frost that slowly covers the tops of cars and roofs, whilst chimmneys puff in anger at being used FINALLY after waiting all year.

Scrooge?

Christmas to every individual brings different memories, different things people look forward to and of course the idea that once its over the entire population sits down and goes "i can't believe its over for another year".....

What is your favourite part of Christmas? The food? The gifts? Maybe everything?

What though is your scrooge element? Taking down the tree? Driving in the frost? Feeling your toes go painful from being so cold?

Whatever it is, I would love to know.

Till next time.....

The weather outside is frightful.....

The last post I must admit was very.... depressing. But then again I felt 100% better after I had typed that whole story out. I asked the same question to my current boyfriend (i make that sound like i have reams of men hiding in cupboards...I don't) and he said no one wud realise if he vanished either. I think that made me feel a bit more "normal" (as no one can really be completely normal)

The weather however can only resemble the emotion: rage. The wind is howling down every street, tearing her way through cities and even stopping some forms of transport in the worst effected area (Scotland). I find it amazing as Met Office has issues a "red alert" for Scotland. I would not like to be living there right at this moment in time, with many people trending on twitter #hurriancebagpipes and other similar (not such nice names) for the weather.

What do we expect though? As a famous advert once said "we wait all year for the summer sun, only to cool down again once it arrives" I find it NEAR impossible to get a human being who is 100% happy, or isn't fonding of moaning. I myself can't last the day without a few remarks of a negative nature, whether it be a slow driver or maybe "whats happened to my diet coke?" (lame example maybe?)

Anyway as i was putting books away in my old playroom (which is now the study) I came upon a treasure trove of TeenyWeenie Families. Now i myself am PROUD that i collected all families and houses PAR ONE! (that makes me a bit sad in my competitive nature) and I have provided a wee linkage below incase I'm the only girl aware of such toy delights (they stopped producing the families in 1997) Gee now i feel old.

I mainly wanted to post to say I might hate the new me in the sense of getting angry easily and what not, but most of the time I am quite happy with my life. So I wanted to make that clear: I am happy, its jus the adjusting period of my donor system and how i feel about myself after all these years of fighting the big C.

Linkages: Teeny Weeny Families (Ebay link) 
Just want to say that the link i provided is for ebay BUT it is because i cant find the orginal teeny weeny website (although you can just google that product but ebay is jus another verison of lookin at the families etc)

MEOOOWWW!

Vanished?

I have finished semester one (uni) and yesterday I went to get my results for my donor test at the hospital. I should have been happy, hell i should have been overjoyed with everything but when she said that it was 100% donor still, I just smiled and nodded. I want to be happy! I want to be like "wooo hoooo lets tell everyone" but instead no one asked par a selective three people and even at that I was jus like "erm yeh it was okay".....

I am still in that phase of anger at the world around me, everyone seems to go around being horrible to people and taking things for granted but most of the time they dont realise how lucky they are. Granted that sounds soooo cheesy, but its true! People are becoming more "erm im not helping you with anything" in their life, lost in their own vanity. So you have to ask the question will it happen that if you or anyone else vanished for the day, would the rest of your peers or supposed "friends" notice? They might notice a couple of days after (say u took urself off to a wee cottage for the weekend) but on that ACTUAL day... would anyone notice? Sad to say I am beginning to think that no one would notice if i was to vanish for the day.

I have found I have no energy left for horrible people in my life, why say "awk they didnt mean it".... in a situation when they are pushed to their limits and you see their other side, it means that they arent the person you thought they were. I am beginning recently to see this more and more. People are actually like animals, wanting opportunities and some will actually do anything to get to the front of the queue. Fed up with it all.

I wish people would realise how their words effect others.... but sadly no one goes by the motto "treat others how u want to be treated"....

Other than that my antirejection drugs are being decreased at night (used to take 100mg in morning and 100mg at night, but now 100mg in morning and 75mg at night) I am also down to 15mg of steroids interval days. I think what I am mostly struggling with is the concept that I miss the old me, the one who doesnt seem to be angry most of the time and can make a joke. I find that the more i carry on "getting up and maybe the day will be better" the more I am beginning to get used to showing my "happy" fake smile and saying "im fine".... im not fine. im pissed off with the world. with people. with the fact that after four years of stealing my life it has now stole my personality. I dont like the new me. I hate the new me.