Too hard on yourself?

I can honestly say I'm my own worst enemy. In every aspect of my life I never congratulate myself, and if I do something wrong or fail I punish myself by going over and over it again until I just feel a bit crappy about it.

Major examples of this include: me getting the clear on my PET scan, I shrugged my shoulders and said "okay"... thats not normal is it? I passed my exams whilst being ill... I said "cool".... I am awful at maths but still did a exam on it today and i am now kicking myself about obviously failing it. Why is it that you are you're own worst enemy? Maybe not everyone is that way, but I can't seem to praise myself for ANYTHING I do in life... BUT this is where it gets more weird, I can get SUPER excited about a new book, or driving with a new playlist for my car.... but never about important stuff....

I think you can guess that my exam did NOT go well. I actually couldn't answer a break even question (worth 20 marks) and I ended up walking out before the time was up on the exam... first time ever! I think if you really knew me as a person in the flesh you would understand how shocking that is for me.... I'm a nerd... NERDDDD! Gah! kicking myself much? I hate... no loathe loathe loathe MATHS! ggrr!

After my exam I took a trip to Mcd's for some lunch because my stomach was even talking in my exam like major gurgles. Anywayyy i tasted their new deli wrap with sweet chilli and lettuce..... TO.DIE.FOR.... so yummy and I felt less fatty for getting a wrap. You get me? I'm really wanting to keep the weight off that I have lost through chemo treatment, because I find that I'm somewhat happy now with my figure... so hopefully it continues (the healthy eating) I'm loving anything that has a creamy sauce because sometimes I still find food unmoist from my salvia not returning properly.... also i love mushrooms and peppers and anything that involves chicken atm... I had the same dinner two nights in a row because i was in food heaven with it!

I have another exam on the 24th of this month.... and it's all I can think about. I just feel so bad about this exam. I sound nutterish. Probably because I am.

I went also to the cinema tonight with my friend to see "Bridesmaid" was decent enough BUT i thought it could have been funnier, and they should have had the character "Helen" in more scenes, she was flipping hilarous!

Gah! I need a shower for my head... as my bf says "i need to put my brain in a jug of ice cold water" Can't wait till I can go off for a weekend and be... I dunno.... free? (in the sense of no worries... im stressed atm)