My New Look

Phew *wipes sweat from brow* I am a bit slow with updating the face of my blog because I do everything old school. my title is done on paint, and i google everything else for the borders and template design. It took me ages but I am only sort of happy now with my blog's new look. I would be a bit more picky next time because I'm so OCD.

Anyway on to other news, a friend of mine said something today and it made me laugh so much. It was about the fact that I can't drink whilst on my anti rejection tablets and she said 

"Cancer is shit"

You said it! Had to laugh because it just summarises that the bastard is shit! I am going out for dinner tonight with the boyfriend, after it took me ages to get in contact with him, the differences of being laid back verus OCD planning.

Here is the link to the awesome blog template even though there is a icon on my actual blog that u can click. Im adding it to my actual entry because "Hot Bliggity Blog" has AWESOME templates and I want to give a big shout out to the blog itself :)
http://hotbliggityblog.com/

Till next time :)

Posting back comments

I LOVE the comments I get from other bloggers but i wanted to say I still don't seem able to reply to you lovely people. I try, and even over a long period of time BUT yet I can never reply to your posts.... It annoys me somewhat!

So this is decidated to the people who have commented on my posts. I do read them! I do enjoy getting them! Im sad I can't reply!

Anyone know of solutions (i have googled this but to no avail)?

Bad Blogger!

I'm terrible for leaving you alone in this webbed world that we called the internet *strokes blog to soothe its lonely heart* I have great news though to tame your anger... I have got the ALL CLEAR from my scan. Something that has actually never happened, there is no cyst or even a tiny bit of tumour left this time. Its like we can finally hop around like mini pixies on toadstools shouting "Hooray!" but you know me, never one to fully show my feelings with my health.... So instead mother and family cried for me.

I have been getting better since the transplant. I still have GVH but that wont go away for a long time, its mostly dry itchy skin and a few red spots that look like a bad case of ecezma?

I have also been revising for my first sits that are coming up this month. I am still taken in the land of lurvveeeeee, two months until its 3 years. Seems unreal... like everything in my life.

But of course, i am still in the world of books, were i like to escape and make up worlds I could only dream of living or entering for the day. Who wouldn't love to dwell in a actual novel for a day eh? Just a day mind.... some endings of novels are very sad indeed.

Toodles for now.... i will return sooner i hope.
x

Breathe.....

I seem to be getting worse with this update malark for my wee blog BUT i got my hickman line out.... and since I can't find my lead for my BB to upload fotos of a) straight after removal and b) the scar healing up....

It took two doctors and three hours of me lying there without being knocked out and only local numbing to my skin to remove my hickman line. The trouble? Your body creates thick tissue around the line inside your body, to hold it in place and protect it... so when you want to remove it, you have to slowly cut the thick tissue away from it. That is what took the longest and needless to say I ended up swearing at the amount of pain even with the numbing in place.

BUT alas it is out and my bio oil is being used daily for the scars, and indeed the new scar that they couldnt help but make because it was that difficult to remove.

Another problem arose, because I'm near to day 90 of 100 now and I have developed a case of graft vs host on my face... burning, itchy, feels like acid..... hopefully it will go away and i wont have to face my worse fear.... steriods and being admitted to hospital.

Par from that I'm getting ready for my friend's L wedding, which Im bridesmaid of... its happening in 9 days. 20th July 2011 is her big day... gonna be so jealous cus she will look stunning. Cant wait though.

Fingers crossed my skin starts to feel non acidy.
x

Eeekkk.....

Tommorrow is a pretty big day in my wee life.  Im finally getting my hickman line out, which is scary in itself and also a big deal because it really says to me that the doctors dont think im at a high risk to get an infection aka the line is mainly in for anti botics after a transplant.....

Jus wanted to post that.... yanoooo

Thank goodnessmy tooth is a bit better but im still feeling sick and being sick :/

x

"You have a bad day.." Or a couple more in my experience

Everyone gets bad days, days when you wake up and you feel like punching someone, or else the simple no patience at all for anyone with silly questions. My day today is deffo punch and throw things, which I have already done. No no! not punch anyone, just threw some stuff like a pillow and then a bathroom storage unit that is wicker and has no weight whatso ever... really I just pushed it to the ground in anger.

Why am I angry or having a shitteee day? Because I have realised par from the few actual mates who are ACTUALLY really busy with stuff that needs their full attention, all my other friends or so called friends have suddenly disappeared. It seems because I can't go out and drink or I dont have the energy to go out at strange times of night for a "cruise" or drive that no one contacts me. Now I'm not feeling sorry for myself, but literally NO ONE contacts me unless I contact them.... and thats not what friendship is about. Is it? If it is then I need re-training in friendship.

I have seen since the time of my transplant that I can no longer spilt myself from medical Jane to normal Jane, because the two have somehow fused together without me realising. The whole day is taken up with me drinking three litres or else moisturing because my skin is dry from the transplant, or else peeing because Im drinking. Orrr I get tired and sore... or my constant mouth washes and mouth oral medicines to prevent anything really bad happening in my mouth... then its back to more fluids and then wohh its bed time and no one has contacted me.

I know its all about waiting, but Im fed up waiting.... its 100 days till my anti rejection drugs gets decreased... and im near that date but i dont think that is gonna change anything. Im heart scared of getting ill again, but who can i tell? No one.... I don't want to bog my bf down with it and one friend in particular didnt even ask me how i was after i went to A and E....

It seems having a transplant has come at a cost. Not saying its not worth it, just saying that it has cost me more than I ever thought it would have....not even getting invited out... friends not making time to do other activites that dont invovle a lot of energy or drinking or packed venues....

I just hoped things wouldn't change... but life can't stay the same, oh yes it can remain shit.... but a different shit every shitty day.....

Sun, Wisdom and the figure 50

Clearly I am not built for this warm weather, I feel like my dog right now, who is currently out the back in the garden because everytime i bring him in, he suffers what only can be described as a train attack, where he pants that quickly his tongue goes purple. So im sitting trying to keep cold but i feel no breeze coming through my open windows. Oh well, you cant complain when the weather is lovely like this, we rarely see it!

Wisdom you ask? MY TEETH! I am praying, and hoping that the tooth coming up is NOT impacted but i have a sore throat just on one side and my entire gum feels like it will explode... my tooth also hasnt come out in line with the rest of my teeth.... I'm worrying.

The figure 50 being that i have reached day 50 out of 100 of my transplant, which means Im fifty days away from being out of danger of getting graft vs host disease (were the cells attack your body because it realises you arent its normal host aka mum lol) So im pleased with that, because after day 100 they start to decrease my anti rejection tablets and then i can stop this whole drinking of three litres every day, which is pretty hard with this tooth!

Is it weird that I sat indoors all day because i was tired but that i applied sun lotion just because it smelt of coconuts? Noooo... neverrrr *keep telling yourself that*